Depression and school
Mental illness isn't something to play with, if you know anyone who is battling with their own mine help them to seek help and it can go down hill. Why do I say this? because I suffered depression quite a few time in my life.
My first time facing this horrible battle against myself was in high school. I'm not really sure but I think it was year 10 if not, it would be between year 9 and year 11. I have always been a girl who doesn't like to get herself in trouble and is always loyal to friends. You tell me something and I will keep it a secret unless if it involves another friend of mine looking like stupid. That's probably why I didn't have many friends. because I wasn't one to gossip about my fiends, I would rather listen and keep it all in. Even my own feeling I would keep in. If you hurt me I wouldn't say anything just feel upset.
So in high school I was part of a group of girls but I never identified myself with them. They were all up in their own arse, very girly. I was a little girly but I would also like to play football if I was invited to or play games. I wasn't about putting on make up at that stage. but I couldn't really fine any other fiends who were into the same thing I was into. I would keep myself distant because I knew they would talk about me. I could feel them judging me but what could I do? then there was a girl who had a problem with me. she would walk past me and call me a "slut" or a "whore" for no reason. I wouldn't even talk to any boys for her to call me that let alone text anyone. To this day I still don't know why she would call me those name...
So I got to a point in high school where I would cry every time my mum would drive me to school. I would be scared to even step foot there. I would have nightmares that the girls I hanged around with would gang up on me. I never went to a doctor to see what they could do. I just let it go. my mum has always been there for me.
College
then there was college I was taking art and design. I felt like I could try it out. I knew how to dray so why not see what I can do with my like and art. but I felt that one of the four teachers I had didn't like me. I would ask for help and she would say "I'll be right there" and never come. this went on until the end of the course. when I would go and give my papers she could give me a low mark, I obviously wouldn't complain because I could have had help but she was always busy. plus I wasn't one to complain. At the end of the year I had to hand in my assignment and she looked at it and told me to redo it and told me off because it wasn't good enough. So that's when I finally got the guts to stand up to her. I told her she would never come when I asked for help, told her all the things I thought she done wrong with me. ( now I'm not telling you guys to do that with your teachers because it can get you in a lot of trouble) she looked at me in shock. marked my papers and said "see you next year".
unfortunately I didn't want to do arts anymore but I had to go to my final art show where parents can come too. and let me tell you! that teacher who never helped me was the wife of my favourite music teacher in primary school and the daughter in law of my other music teacher! how crazy could that be?
so I moved on to do beauty therapy. my first year went amazing! my second year went okay. right towards the end of the year I kind of lots a few friends I would say. more because I am that loyal friend I was talked about. let me explain and give these girls different names.
Growing up my grandmother lived near a friend of mine called Natalie we would play a lot I would go round her and play, we would sing and what not..
So years go forward and I meet her again in college after not seeing her for the whole of high school.
One day there were 3 of us sitting at lunch talking. Jade, Dina and me. Jade and Dina started talking about Natalie, saying that Natalie exposed herself too much to others that her "cum run" story she could have kept it to her self blah blah blha . I just sat there and listened. I may be acting like an angle but trust me if I'm not close to you I don't gossip at all because people twist things up and I wasn't close to theses girls.
So another day went by and I'm having lunch with Natalie and Stella and I say "Natalie I think you should start to keep your things to your self as people are talking about you and about your cum run story. they say you expose too much about your private life" keeping in mind I'm trying to protect her here she obviously asked me who it was and pointed out Dina and Jade and because I didn't want them to get in trouble or argue I said it wasn't them and that it was me! I know stupid of me. now to this day Natalie doesn't really talk to me but you know what I couldn't care less. but at that time no one wanted to hang around with me and I understood why. so I felt really alone. I was really hard to make new friends so I just sat alone at lunch.
now im 20 years old I have had another break down. but this time it was post partum depression. I just felt alone in this would I loved my child and I would love too look after him but I just felt rubbish and that my body was horrible and that no one liked me. happily my mum and Ramiro helped me to seek help and I started to take medication. now I'm as new as one could be and feel happy with myself.
hope you like this. its a little about my school journey and depression all together as it all triggered together at the same time. please if you know anyone or yourself are depressed please seek help because this world need you. you might now know it yet!
So in high school I was part of a group of girls but I never identified myself with them. They were all up in their own arse, very girly. I was a little girly but I would also like to play football if I was invited to or play games. I wasn't about putting on make up at that stage. but I couldn't really fine any other fiends who were into the same thing I was into. I would keep myself distant because I knew they would talk about me. I could feel them judging me but what could I do? then there was a girl who had a problem with me. she would walk past me and call me a "slut" or a "whore" for no reason. I wouldn't even talk to any boys for her to call me that let alone text anyone. To this day I still don't know why she would call me those name...
So I got to a point in high school where I would cry every time my mum would drive me to school. I would be scared to even step foot there. I would have nightmares that the girls I hanged around with would gang up on me. I never went to a doctor to see what they could do. I just let it go. my mum has always been there for me.
College
then there was college I was taking art and design. I felt like I could try it out. I knew how to dray so why not see what I can do with my like and art. but I felt that one of the four teachers I had didn't like me. I would ask for help and she would say "I'll be right there" and never come. this went on until the end of the course. when I would go and give my papers she could give me a low mark, I obviously wouldn't complain because I could have had help but she was always busy. plus I wasn't one to complain. At the end of the year I had to hand in my assignment and she looked at it and told me to redo it and told me off because it wasn't good enough. So that's when I finally got the guts to stand up to her. I told her she would never come when I asked for help, told her all the things I thought she done wrong with me. ( now I'm not telling you guys to do that with your teachers because it can get you in a lot of trouble) she looked at me in shock. marked my papers and said "see you next year".
unfortunately I didn't want to do arts anymore but I had to go to my final art show where parents can come too. and let me tell you! that teacher who never helped me was the wife of my favourite music teacher in primary school and the daughter in law of my other music teacher! how crazy could that be?
so I moved on to do beauty therapy. my first year went amazing! my second year went okay. right towards the end of the year I kind of lots a few friends I would say. more because I am that loyal friend I was talked about. let me explain and give these girls different names.
Growing up my grandmother lived near a friend of mine called Natalie we would play a lot I would go round her and play, we would sing and what not..
So years go forward and I meet her again in college after not seeing her for the whole of high school.
One day there were 3 of us sitting at lunch talking. Jade, Dina and me. Jade and Dina started talking about Natalie, saying that Natalie exposed herself too much to others that her "cum run" story she could have kept it to her self blah blah blha . I just sat there and listened. I may be acting like an angle but trust me if I'm not close to you I don't gossip at all because people twist things up and I wasn't close to theses girls.
So another day went by and I'm having lunch with Natalie and Stella and I say "Natalie I think you should start to keep your things to your self as people are talking about you and about your cum run story. they say you expose too much about your private life" keeping in mind I'm trying to protect her here she obviously asked me who it was and pointed out Dina and Jade and because I didn't want them to get in trouble or argue I said it wasn't them and that it was me! I know stupid of me. now to this day Natalie doesn't really talk to me but you know what I couldn't care less. but at that time no one wanted to hang around with me and I understood why. so I felt really alone. I was really hard to make new friends so I just sat alone at lunch.
now im 20 years old I have had another break down. but this time it was post partum depression. I just felt alone in this would I loved my child and I would love too look after him but I just felt rubbish and that my body was horrible and that no one liked me. happily my mum and Ramiro helped me to seek help and I started to take medication. now I'm as new as one could be and feel happy with myself.
hope you like this. its a little about my school journey and depression all together as it all triggered together at the same time. please if you know anyone or yourself are depressed please seek help because this world need you. you might now know it yet!
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