My Boy Marley

lets start from the beginning...

July of 2017 I found out about the news that would change my whole life forever. I Found out I was pregnant! Not planed and now keeping in mind I was only 19 years old not knowing what I wanted with my life, I had some idea but wasn't sure, I fell pregnant. 

I knew I wasn't going to abort, but I also knew I wasn't going to put it up for adoption. why? because to me this was a gift from God. God knew what he wanted from me. I'm not going to go all into religion but it was my choice and my partners. As long as we were both happy with this decision no one could say anything.

Telling my parents was the hardest thing I had to do. I felt I had betrayed them. I knew it wasn't what they wanted from me. They wanted me to have a life plan like nearly every parent does. Number one!Study something I liked but go to university after, number 2 find the job that fits my studies, number 3, meet someone and get married and then number 4 I could have children if I wanted. But unfortunately life doesn't work out how we plan.

I was more scared on telling my father. I knew he would be disappointed. His little girl, pregnant!

How did my mum react to all of this? to me she seemed fine, she supported me, which was amazing but one thing that no one noticed. she stopped talking to the rest of the family for two weeks. By "rest of the family" I meant her cousin who she would talk to everyday. No one noticed because she also suffered in silence because her little girl who was not so big now was going to be a mum. Would have to grow up faster than she expected, and would be missing her youth like she did. 

I tried keeping the pregnancy a secret but Ramiro found it a little hard, bless him. Nearly everyone in my town knew about it before I reached 3 months  but that was fine I guess... Telling the rest of the family was great. They were all happy for me. Especially my cousin Iara. She also told me her big new. She was pregnant as well! What a relief. We would be going through the same things at the same time which meant we could share and help each other. Starting with heartburns and end with what to do in labour. Yes labour! we didn't have our boys at the same time but one month apart. 

As I'm small I spent a lot of time in hospital. Doctors said I would be ok and didn't have to worry about my Hight and being skinny but I got a lot of pain as the baby would put itself in positions that would hurt me. I couldn't wait for the pregnancy to be over. I would say I wouldn't miss it. Now it's what I miss the most!

On the 20th March 2018 at 2:30am I woke up wanting to go for a number 2 but I couldn't go (sorry for the TMI) sat there for one whole hour trying but noting, how could I have guessed I was having contractions at that moment. Ended going back to bed. At 3:30am I had the same feeling again! Number 2!! So I'm going down the stairs when I feel myself peeing. I try going down faster before I wet my mums lovely new carpet on her stair. now that's when the real contracts start!

I end up calling the hospital and they do an over the phone contraction test and tell me to head up to the hospital. at the start I would laugh them away but towards the end it was a little bit harder. I stayed there the whole day plus night! Yes I know there are women that stay more time at hospital during labour. I can't remember much about my day at the hospital because I spent most of my time sleeping. The nurse would inject Pethidine on my thigh. Let me tell the first one hurt so much! I think it was because the nurse was doing it for the first time because the second one didn't hurt as much... she also said if my waters don't break completely by 03:30am on 21st march they had to break them as the baby would start to suffer.  

Who spent the day with me at the hospital was my mum, Ramiro didn't want to see me go through the pain as he would say he would end up hurting someone for not helping me. He also thought it was a false alarm when I woke him up at 03:30 telling him my waters had broken slowly. He would say I was peeing myself and when the water do break they come in one go.  

so at around 08:00pm it was visiting time so my dad and Ramiro came to visit me and brought Mc Donald's because I was super hungry and the hospital food wasn't filling me up enough. At that time the contractions started to kick in! I couldn't even eat! The hunger had gone and the pain had come.

Ramiro and my dad had to go as visiting time had finished but little did they know as they were leaving the hospital my water had broken completely!

How did they break? well when Ramiro and my dad left I called the midwife as I had a lot of contractions. She checked how many cm I was and I was only 2cm in to labour! Now that's not a lot for who needs to get to 10cm... but she continued trying to check but at the same time stretching to see if it would start to open a little bit more. That's when me, my mum and the midwife heard a POP sound. The midwife said "well you might get a little bit of water come out" as soon as she said that my waters had gone! literally gushing out! I felt like I was laying down on a pool! I started shaking because I was so nervous but happy at the same time because I knew I was nearly meeting my little boy.

So the midwife calls a nurse and they both take me to the labour suite I could walk there as my waters wouldn't stop. I'm not exaggeration! The midwife that followed me during my 9 months said I had a lot of water. So I get to the labour suite and I'm the only one there having a baby so I had all the attention in the world from the midwives which in a way was good.  So I ask for the Epidural as I knew I couldn't stand the pain. with what I just went trough back in the other room I wasn't ready for more. The doctor came in to put in the Epidural and apparently I said " hey man! are you done?" now I don't remember this because I was under gas and air to ease the pain of the needle going in. But my mum said everyone laughed. All I can remember is "ooo there go my waters again". I'm telling I had a lot of water!   

 My mum tried to convince me not to take the Epidural because she thought it would be the same as in Portugal and you cant move at all but no, I could move me legs a little bit but I had to have help.

It gets to around 03:30 I think and the midwife should you ready! time to start posing! what? yep I had to start pushing. I loved the whole experience even the pushing, I could still feel it with the epidural but not the pain so I could push the baby when ever I felt it trying to come out. 

 So eventually Marley was born on the 21st March 2018 at 4:56am I stayed at the hospital for 3 day as he had pooed in me, they had to check if he was ok.

Now Marley is the happiness of the whole family! My dad feels proud to say he is a grandad, shows him off whenever he can! My mum adores him and can't stand a day without seeing him and my brother feels like the best uncle in the world. Talks about him all the time at school and with his friends.

He is the best gift God has given me! 

I love you, my baby boy!